3 a.m., Now
I had a list, back then.
Back then, I had a list.
A long list, studded with capital letter words
Surely I would need Patience –
so I grabbed a wad and stuck it in my sack
(only to find out much later, not that much later,
that I should have grabbed more).
And of course I would need Courage.
Lots of that.
Doubt I had, but I tossed in extra,
for good measure.
Wisdom? Yes, of course, though they were
out and told me to come back later
which I have meant to do ever since, and certainly will
or whenever I can get to it,
but I will,
I will go back,
one of these days.
And a few shiny objects, small totems, those too
I added to my sack,
though they weren’t anywhere on my list.
They sparkled in the light and they
comforted me, so I took them along. Enthusiasm
I had already but I added more for there was
an overabundance and it was mine
for the taking and there was still plenty left
for the soon-to-be-mothers
queued up behind me, readying themselves,
their eyes glistening with the same joy and fear
I knew shone in my own. Oh, I was so earnestly
I took everything on my list and double that more --
But I did not know
that I should have looked,
and looked harder if I had to,
and looked forever if I had to,
and not left until I found
the magic wand
that makes ear infections go away.
I’d take everything else back now
if I could just have that.