If You See This Woman Today, Reassure Her That Yes, She Can Buy Those Green Bananas And Still Be Around When They're Ripe

Happy birthday, dear April.

You're hip, spry, and sporty,

And so young at heart --

Who would guess that you're...

...er, a very young age that just so happens end in a big ol' zero.

If you don't know April, go find her today and meet her; you'll be glad you did. If you know her already, please spend the bulk of your day showering her with birthday good wishes. In addition to being the finest friend I've ever had, April is a topnotch terrific writer and an all-round wonderful human being. She deserves nothing but the best, today and always.

Happy birthday, my friend. Here's to your best decade yet.